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The current year signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular memes, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a framework developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your decision to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely harmless quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {